2 Relationship Hacks

Ever seen one of those relationships where both people just 100% totally understand what the other person needs all the time, and both partners just effortlessly read minds and live in perfect harmony?

Me neither.

It’s hard to know what the healthy boundaries in relationships are.

The old myth goes that if you’re in love with the right person, everything will just feel “natural” and you’ll be so connected that you won’t have to discuss what is and isn’t appropriate.
But back on planet Earth, it’s probably likely that you have some different expectations, even if only a little.

For example:

+How much independence do you both need? i.e. if s/he wants to spend every night at your place, whereas you need some private time a couple of days a week.

+Behavioural boundaries: does s/he constantly show up late to things? How does s/he act with your friends? Does s/he flirt with other women in ways you consider inappropriate?

+Is s/he thoughtful and caring in the ways you need?

To be clear: it’s pretty unlikely you’re going to sit down and hash all of your expectations out when you first decide to date someone.

Maybe you’ll off-handedly mention some during your early dates, e.g. “I love being with someone, but I definitely value my time on my own some days as well”.

But in general, some boundaries in relationships won’t be made clear until they’re violated. That’s when it’s time to set your boundaries and make it clear what you expect in future.

When this happens, be very clear about exactly what bothered you.

++DON’T: go silent, ignore, call names, or make passive aggressive attacks toward your partner.

++DO: Take time to say how you feel about it. E.g. “When you arrive late all the time, it makes me feel like you don’t value my time, which then makes me feel angry. Could you please come on time in future? I don’t mind it once in a while, but when it keeps happening it becomes really frustrating…”

That way you’re communicating, (a) what you’re feeling, and (b) how s/he can change to solve the problem.

Be sure to join the new online group for Ladies looking to turn their lackluster relationships into the relationship of their dreams. There’ll be an opportunity to join me for weekly Q + A’s along with monthly webinars highlighting the ways you can start showing up as your best self in your loving relationship – so you can build the relationship you’ve always dreamed about with your amazing partner!

CLICK HERE to join for FREE today:

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTubepages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

 

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LOVE Your Relationship!

Hey Ladies in Relationships and Their Biggest Supporters!

What if I told you that you can have your own support space to help you get the relationship you’ve always DREAMED about? That there is a place where you can heal from the lonely, monotonous, unfulfilling relationship cycles and SHINE in your true, HAPPY partnership where you feel loved, lifted, and CHERISHED by your partner?

In my practice every single day, I help women who struggle to show up and be fulfilled in their relationships to feel more connected to their partners by being a more whole version of themselves FOR their relationship to thrive! In fact, the strategies I share in this safe support space can help you feel like you show up again in your life by finding your connections to the meaningful people in your life who matter most – including YOU.

Over the years, I’ve helped countless women transform their relationships into sources of strength and delight to enrich their lives. I’ve felt so passionately about this being something every woman can attain that I have opened it to the greater community at large. And I want you to have the same opportunity!

This space can help you can change your life by giving you access to the love and value you want!

 

Learn how to go from feeling:

+lonely and alone in your relationship

+disconnected from your partner +like you’re making all the effort in your relationship – with no return

+drained, numb, and even unsure why you’re in this relationship

 

To feeling:

+confident in your partner’s feelings for you so you can feel valued and loved

+safe to ask for what you need so you can lean on your partner when you want

+ready to receive the affection, romance, and kindness that you’ve always wanted

+grateful and excited for the fulfilling relationship that enhances your already incredible life!

You will have the opportunity to join me for weekly Q + A’s along with monthly webinars highlighting the ways you can start showing up as your best self in your loving relationship – so you can build the relationship you’ve always dreamed about with your amazing partner! Get started today and share with us the ways that you want to love YOUR relationship!

CLICK HERE to join for FREE today!

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

Summer Barbecues and – Stress Eating?

Summer is here after a long, grueling winter! For many of us, that might mean the chance to hit the beach, enjoy pool outings, and even summer barbecues with our friends! For many of us, that might feel like the toll of the long winter months might be there for all to see.

In fact, for many who rate “stress” or “emotional” eating as a struggle, the summer can feel like a downer! It might even feel like a double hit because you *want* to be enjoying your sunshine months and joining in on the fun but feel uncomfortable and even out of control with your eating habits. And then as it upsets you more, you might find yourself even reaching yet again for those comfort foods.

The cycle of stress eating CAN be stopped. My latest workshop was created out of this very struggle that I hear people go through every single day. The Food and Your Mood workshopcan help you get back on track —

You’ll learn

+how to end the cycle of stress eating and guilt

+create a more balanced relationship with food

+tune in to your body so you know WHAT you’re hungry FOR

+how food affects your body and mood

+WHAT to do to navigate the endless cycle of emotional eating

Enrollment is by application only. Be sure to get started on the application HERE so you can get access to the registration steps in this life changing workshop!

Your investment in yourself this summer can give you the opportunity to get yourself out there again to enjoy your life – whether it’s feeling your best at your neighbor’s pool party or hosting your own summer barbecue! Food cravings don’t have to stop you from celebrating our sunshine!

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTubepages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

What Good Are Emotions?

You might have been feeling like your thoughts are running a mile a minute. Maybe you’ve even had an overwhelming sense that you can’t calm down. This overwhelming sense might make you feel like you really can’t help but just push your feelings aside and keep muscling through. Next thing you know, you find yourself numb, going through the motions, or like you’re just a bundle of raw nerves, frought with anxiety!

This might be just the time when you reach for that extra serving of your favorite “comfort food” or notice that you’ve not only eaten more of that bag of potato chips than you planned to – but that you’ve eaten the whole bag!

If this sounds like something you’ve encountered, you might have found yourself getting nervous at the thought of navigating emotions. You might have even wondered what that even means or what it would look like.  In fact, not only have many of the participants in my Mindfulness Matters group shared this cycle as one of the biggest obstacles they’ve had to shaking difficult feelings and building what they want in their lives, but it will be an important aspect of the upcoming Food and Your Mood Workshop.

Here’s the thing…

Emotions get a bad rap. They often leave us feeling overwhelmed, out of control, or even at their mercy. Yet, they really serve to protect and HELP us. We just need to learn to uncover their messages so that we can benefit from them. That way, we can not only tune in to our emotions to help us make decisions, but we can feel back in control and settled into ourselves.

So, let’s explore the question of what purpose emotions serve:

  • Emotions provide us with a signal that something is happening (e.g., “I feel nervous standing alone in this dark alley”).
  • Whether you realize it or not, your emotions— expressed by words, face, or body language— influence how other people respond to you.
  • Emotions save time in getting us to act in important situations. Our nervous system activates us (e.g., we instantly jump out of the way of an oncoming car). We don’t have to think everything through.
  • Strong emotions can help us overcome obstacles— in our mind and in the environment.

I encourage you to pick out an emotion this week that leaves you a bit frazzled – but just a bit because we want to first practice! Once you’ve identified an emotion, see if you can draw upon these four objectives and identify the way that this emotion might be trying to benefit you!

What did you notice about your feelings going through this activity? Leave a comment and share with me!

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTubepages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

How To Manage Overwhelming Emotions

For many of us, our mind is running on overdrive with a million thoughts a minute. Sometimes, we might even feel like we are constantly bracing ourselves for the next “hit” or that other shoe to drop. We might even try to slow down and catch our breath… but feel like we are just too overladen with overwhelming feelings to settle down. In fact, many of the participants in my Mindfulness Matters group have shared this cycle as one of the biggest obstacles they’ve had to shaking difficult feelings and building what they want in their lives.

Here’s the thing…

We CAN learn to quiet those incessant, overwhelming emotions so that we can feel more in control and get to the things that enervate us in our lives. While we may not be able to shuffle the situations we find ourselves in, we CAN learn to detach from the difficult, overwhelming feelings that paralyze us.

One exercise that can help with detaching from overwhelming or negative feelings is the “leaves on a stream” exercise.

Here are simple instructions:

Imagine you are sitting in the middle of a stream. The water is flowing away in front of you.

Notice if there is any sound from the running water. Notice if there are any trees on the banks of the stream.

Now see leaves floating down the stream away from you. They can be any shape, color, or size. As the negative thoughts come into your mind, be aware of what the thought is, and then place it on a leaf.

Now watch it float away down the stream. Do this with each thought as you notice it.

As you acknowledge each of your thoughts, you do not need to hang onto them. There is no need to become attached to the thought. Just acknowledge it and then place it on a leaf.

By watching it float away, it loses its hold on you and its intensity.

What did you discover going through this activity? Comment below and share with me!

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTubepages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

Take Hold of Your Overwhelming Emotions!

Sometimes, we have intense emotions that are difficult to manage, such as anger, shame, depression, or anxiety. Difficulties controlling these emotions often lead to problematic behaviors that affect us and those around us. Problematic behaviors are often ineffective solutions to intensely painful emotions. We then find ourselves in a never-ending cycle of feeling overwhelmed by intense emotions and wanting to shut our feelings out completely.

Instead of this turbulent, emotional merry-go-round, we CAN learn to tame our emotions and take hold of them so that we can keep showing up fully in our lives and connect with the people and experiences that matter to us.

“Emotions” isn’t a dirty word – in fact, emotions offer us a lot of valuable information. Emotions provide us with a signal that something is happening so we can check out the facts. It’s a problem when we treat emotions as if THEY are the facts about the world. For example: “If I am afraid, there must be a threat,” or “I love him, so he must be good for me.” We need to be mindful that emotions are not facts. Therefore, it is important to check the facts about the situation – and our Mindful awareness of our emotions give us the signal to go ahead and check on the facts.

They also motivate and prepare us for action. The action urge connected to specific emotions is often “hardwired.” For example, when we hear a loud horn beep suddenly, we startle. Emotions save time in getting us to act in important situations. Our nervous system activates us (e.g., we instantly jump out of the way of an oncoming car). We don’t have to think everything through. Strong emotions can help us overcome obstacles— in our mind and in the environment.

Yet, sometimes, we take action without working through the facts and it doesn’t always turn out in our favor.

One of the favored topics in the Mindfulness Matters group focuses on learning to understand the emotions we experience so that we can identify, observe, and describe our emotions in order to know what they do for us. That way, we can uncover whether they are working for us or hindering us from getting what we want in this moment.

We go on to discover ways to reduce our emotional vulnerability to and stopping unwanted emotions in the beginning stages so we can let go of painful emotions when they start and increase positive emotions! This way, we can reduce our emotional suffering.

P.S. We go through these skills in more depth through a 8 session group in Mindfulness Matters!

Space is limited to ensure that everyone in the group feels heard and has a meaningful experience.

Register for a screening here: http://www.subscribepage.com/mindfulnessmattersgroup

I will be CLOSING the cart on registrations in just 10 days on February 16th so be sure to claim your seat!

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Comment below and tell me how you took hold of your overwhelming emotions!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!