2 Relationship Hacks

Ever seen one of those relationships where both people just 100% totally understand what the other person needs all the time, and both partners just effortlessly read minds and live in perfect harmony?

Me neither.

It’s hard to know what the healthy boundaries in relationships are.

The old myth goes that if you’re in love with the right person, everything will just feel “natural” and you’ll be so connected that you won’t have to discuss what is and isn’t appropriate.
But back on planet Earth, it’s probably likely that you have some different expectations, even if only a little.

For example:

+How much independence do you both need? i.e. if s/he wants to spend every night at your place, whereas you need some private time a couple of days a week.

+Behavioural boundaries: does s/he constantly show up late to things? How does s/he act with your friends? Does s/he flirt with other women in ways you consider inappropriate?

+Is s/he thoughtful and caring in the ways you need?

To be clear: it’s pretty unlikely you’re going to sit down and hash all of your expectations out when you first decide to date someone.

Maybe you’ll off-handedly mention some during your early dates, e.g. “I love being with someone, but I definitely value my time on my own some days as well”.

But in general, some boundaries in relationships won’t be made clear until they’re violated. That’s when it’s time to set your boundaries and make it clear what you expect in future.

When this happens, be very clear about exactly what bothered you.

++DON’T: go silent, ignore, call names, or make passive aggressive attacks toward your partner.

++DO: Take time to say how you feel about it. E.g. “When you arrive late all the time, it makes me feel like you don’t value my time, which then makes me feel angry. Could you please come on time in future? I don’t mind it once in a while, but when it keeps happening it becomes really frustrating…”

That way you’re communicating, (a) what you’re feeling, and (b) how s/he can change to solve the problem.

Be sure to join the new online group for Ladies looking to turn their lackluster relationships into the relationship of their dreams. There’ll be an opportunity to join me for weekly Q + A’s along with monthly webinars highlighting the ways you can start showing up as your best self in your loving relationship – so you can build the relationship you’ve always dreamed about with your amazing partner!

CLICK HERE to join for FREE today:

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTubepages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

 

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[Last Call] Mindfulness Matters 1 Day Workshop Enrollment CLOSING!

You’ve heard the buzz. You’ve thought about getting started. You’ve run through the ways that this can be of benefit for you in your life. Then you remind yourself that you have a hard time pulling the trigger and making decisions!

And the irony is that Mindfulness actually helps us gain clarity so that we can make decisions with ease!

So this last call for enrollment in the upcoming Mindfulness Matters Workshop is dedicated to your indecisive, fence-sitting streak.

Mindfulness brings with it a number of benefits I have mentioned before – and one of the benefits includes noticing what we are experiencing so that we can make choices about what will serve our needs in the best way.

If you have any questions, now is your opportunity to ask them – I will be closing registration in just two hours and I don’t want you to miss out on this opportunity to help you reach your best self – so click reply and ask away or just go ahead and click HERE to get started on the next steps for registration.

Just tune in to yourself to see if you are following a mindless habit of indecision or if you really do have hesitations or questions that I can address with you. I would hate for you to miss out on something that can be of benefit for you based on a habit when I can instead be a support for you in making a shift to help you get to your goals!

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

Mindfulness Matters 1 Day Workshop – Enrollment Closes Today!

It’s another Mindful Monday today! For many of us, we start the week off with a groan or dread while also berating ourself for not enjoying every minute that we have. Today though is an opportunity to take a different approach and try one small thing to make a shift!

That opportunity can be just shifting gears to welcome the day or it can be doing a quick, three minute Mindfulness practice – a quick three minute breathing space, a body scan, or even a LovingKindess practice!

No matter what you chose, the fact that you are giving yourself a different pathway will bring with it gains! In fact, making these small yet powerful and efficient shifts are a big focal point of the Mindfulness Matters one day workshop!

Some of the gains that Mindfulness Matters group participants have had in the past include:

+greater self awareness physically and emotionally,

+quieting the inner critical voice

+navigating emotional rollercoasters more easily

+deepening relationships with loved ones.

I will be closing enrollment THIS afternoon at 4pm and wanted to make sure that you didn’t miss out on participating if you wanted to before that deadline.

I’m also excited about running my Mindfulness events – but this one in particular has me very excited because it will be jam-packed with information, skills, practice together, and a follow up “recap email” with all of what we learned so that you have a lifetime refresher in your inbox! That way, you can really turbocharge your life!

Click HERE *now* so you don’t miss the deadline for enrollment.

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

Mindfulness Matters 1 Day Workshop Enrollment Closing!

If you have ever said…
I can’t focus or think straight
I can’t seem to figure out what I want
Everyone judges me
I’m not good enough

HELP GET CLARITY AND SHOW UP POWERFULLY IN YOUR LIFE!

This two hour workshop will provide you with the skills to…

+ Notice the here and now experiences even when you are overwhelmed and unsettled so that you can participate in the parts of your life that are meaningful

+ Engage in activities even when you’re feeling scared or insecure so that you can lead a fulfilling life and feel happy

+ Stop comparing yourself to others and learn to feel fully comfortable in your own skin

+ Quiet your self-critical voice and learn to love yourself for exactly who you are

Participation is by application ONLY with registration closing at 4pm on Monday – Space is limited to ensure that everyone has a meaningful experience.

To reserve your spot, get in touch and let’s talk about how this workshop can help you:

+Gain greater self awareness physically and emotionally

+Quiet the inner critical voice

+Navigate emotional rollercoasters more easily

+Deepen relationships with loved ones.

I’m very excited about kicking off this workshop and look forward to sharing it with you so that y ou can really turbocharge your life! Get in touch *now* so you don’t miss the deadline for enrollment.

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

Sleep Soundly!

Most of the people I work with loooooove a good nap after or to sleep in on days off, but daylight savings time has thrown a wrench in even the healthiest of sleep schedules!

Use the following rules of thumb to help you and your teen find a healthy sleep routine:

• Create a sleep routine that begins at least 1 hour before going to bed. Just like when we were getting into a routine for our day to day lives as youngsters, we need time to relax and transition to sleep. A sleep routine should consist of relaxing activities that cue the mind and body for sleep. Deep breathing, muscle relaxation, and Mindfulness work well in a sleep routine.

• Establish consistent sleep and wake times. Avoid using the “snooze” button on your alarm clock… it seems impossible, but it can be done!

• The bed should be for sleeping only. Wakeful activities in bed confuse the mind and body, and the bed no longer becomes a cue for sleep and rest. This means homework, FaceTime with friends and Netflix require another comfy space in the home.

• Create a relaxing environment. Comfy blankets and pillows will help create the conditions for sleep. Be mindful of how light and temperature impact your comfort too.

• Avoid heavy meals and spicy foods before bedtime.

• Avoid any stimulation before bedtime, including arguments or conflict, vigorous activity, or anything else that is likely to activate your mind and body.

• Get exercise during the daytime.

• If you are unable to sleep after 20 minutes, get up and do something boring and/or relaxing until you are sleepy and ready to return to bed. Don’t just lie in bed with your mind racing for hours!

A good sleep routine leads to a more positive overall mood AND it’s a great way for both you and your teen to feel a sense of power over your own emotional health.

What sleep rules did you come up with to help you get your best night of rest this week? Hit reply and share with me!

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

Discovering Yourself

Feeling like you are a bit of a mystery to yourself? Maybe it has been feeling like the self help books just haven’t been cutting it anymore. Or maybe you are wondering what it is about you that makes you operate in just that way!

Sometimes, we all begin to get curious about how we “work.” We wonder about our specific patterns and our default ways of understanding ourselves, the world, and others. Other times, we find ourselves noticing patterns but not understanding the ways that they tend to help or hinder us.

One tool that can facilitate the discovery of ourselves in this state of wonder and mystery is Mindfulness. With Mindful awareness devoid of self critical stances, we can discover what builds for us as well as what aids us.

Another valuable tool in self discovery is assessment. I recently shared some thoughts with Bustle on some ways that personality tests can help us to attain our goals. Be sure to read more HERE. We might find that those very things about us that just don’t “make sense” might be the biggest clue to the very thing we find ourselves stuck with!

It might even help us learn to better love ourselves!

What did you discover in tuning in to yourself so that you can bring more self compassion into your experience? Hit reply and share with me!

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Comment below and tell me how your experience with greater awareness went!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

Learning to Love Ourselves

Self-compassion is a powerful tool you can use to improve your well-being, self confidence and resilience. Many find it easy to have compassion for others but struggle in applying this same kindness to themselves. By taking moments throughout your day to pause and practice self compassion, you can gradually increase this quality and make it a more regular habit in your life. My “Beyond the Couch” podcast interview with Dr. Ellis Edmunds highlights some of the key ways that we can begin practicing this so that it can become an everyday as pet of our lives.

Here is one way you can get started:

  • When you find yourself stressed out in a difficult situation, take a moment to pause.
  • Reach up and touch your heart, or give yourself a hug if you are comfortable with that.
  • Take a few deep breaths.
  • Acknowledge that you are suffering and see if you can treat yourself with as much kindness as you would a dear friend or child who was struggling.
  • Offer yourself phrases of compassion, first by acknowledging your suffering:
    • “This is suffering.” or “This is really painful/difficult right now.” or “Wow, I am really suffering right now!”
    • “Suffering is a part of being human.”
    • For the final phrase(s), choose whatever is most appropriate for your situation. Feel free to use any of the following phrases or create your own:
    • May I hold myself with compassion.
    • May I love and accept myself just as I am.
    • May I experience peace.
    • May I remember to treat myself with love and kindness.
    • May I open to my experience just as it is.
    • Return to your daily activities, intentionally carrying an attitude of self-compassion and acceptance to your day.

What did you discover in tuning in to yourself so that you can bring more self compassion into your experience? Hit reply and share with me!

NOTE:

I have been asked to extend a second slot for the Mindfulness Matters group where I explore this skill in DEPTH over 8 sessions!

Space is limited to ensure that everyone in the group feels heard and has a meaningful experience.

Register for a screening here: http://www.subscribepage.com/mindfulnessmattersgroup

I will be CLOSING the cart on registrations in just a few days so be sure to claim your seat before I do!

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Comment below and tell me how your experience with greater awareness went!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!