2 Relationship Hacks

Ever seen one of those relationships where both people just 100% totally understand what the other person needs all the time, and both partners just effortlessly read minds and live in perfect harmony?

Me neither.

It’s hard to know what the healthy boundaries in relationships are.

The old myth goes that if you’re in love with the right person, everything will just feel “natural” and you’ll be so connected that you won’t have to discuss what is and isn’t appropriate.
But back on planet Earth, it’s probably likely that you have some different expectations, even if only a little.

For example:

+How much independence do you both need? i.e. if s/he wants to spend every night at your place, whereas you need some private time a couple of days a week.

+Behavioural boundaries: does s/he constantly show up late to things? How does s/he act with your friends? Does s/he flirt with other women in ways you consider inappropriate?

+Is s/he thoughtful and caring in the ways you need?

To be clear: it’s pretty unlikely you’re going to sit down and hash all of your expectations out when you first decide to date someone.

Maybe you’ll off-handedly mention some during your early dates, e.g. “I love being with someone, but I definitely value my time on my own some days as well”.

But in general, some boundaries in relationships won’t be made clear until they’re violated. That’s when it’s time to set your boundaries and make it clear what you expect in future.

When this happens, be very clear about exactly what bothered you.

++DON’T: go silent, ignore, call names, or make passive aggressive attacks toward your partner.

++DO: Take time to say how you feel about it. E.g. “When you arrive late all the time, it makes me feel like you don’t value my time, which then makes me feel angry. Could you please come on time in future? I don’t mind it once in a while, but when it keeps happening it becomes really frustrating…”

That way you’re communicating, (a) what you’re feeling, and (b) how s/he can change to solve the problem.

Be sure to join the new online group for Ladies looking to turn their lackluster relationships into the relationship of their dreams. There’ll be an opportunity to join me for weekly Q + A’s along with monthly webinars highlighting the ways you can start showing up as your best self in your loving relationship – so you can build the relationship you’ve always dreamed about with your amazing partner!

CLICK HERE to join for FREE today:

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTubepages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

 

LOVE Your Relationship!

Hey Ladies in Relationships and Their Biggest Supporters!

What if I told you that you can have your own support space to help you get the relationship you’ve always DREAMED about? That there is a place where you can heal from the lonely, monotonous, unfulfilling relationship cycles and SHINE in your true, HAPPY partnership where you feel loved, lifted, and CHERISHED by your partner?

In my practice every single day, I help women who struggle to show up and be fulfilled in their relationships to feel more connected to their partners by being a more whole version of themselves FOR their relationship to thrive! In fact, the strategies I share in this safe support space can help you feel like you show up again in your life by finding your connections to the meaningful people in your life who matter most – including YOU.

Over the years, I’ve helped countless women transform their relationships into sources of strength and delight to enrich their lives. I’ve felt so passionately about this being something every woman can attain that I have opened it to the greater community at large. And I want you to have the same opportunity!

This space can help you can change your life by giving you access to the love and value you want!

 

Learn how to go from feeling:

+lonely and alone in your relationship

+disconnected from your partner +like you’re making all the effort in your relationship – with no return

+drained, numb, and even unsure why you’re in this relationship

 

To feeling:

+confident in your partner’s feelings for you so you can feel valued and loved

+safe to ask for what you need so you can lean on your partner when you want

+ready to receive the affection, romance, and kindness that you’ve always wanted

+grateful and excited for the fulfilling relationship that enhances your already incredible life!

You will have the opportunity to join me for weekly Q + A’s along with monthly webinars highlighting the ways you can start showing up as your best self in your loving relationship – so you can build the relationship you’ve always dreamed about with your amazing partner! Get started today and share with us the ways that you want to love YOUR relationship!

CLICK HERE to join for FREE today!

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

Discover How To Own Your Worth In Relationships

We love the people who matter to us in our lives. But they have flaws and sometimes those same people we love disappoint us. They treat us unfairly or misunderstand our needs, leaving us feeling hurt, angry or let down. Mindfulness skills can be used to help us preserve self-respect in our own relationships and to guide us toward more healthy relationships too.

When your discomfort alarm rings and you find yourself feeling upset about an interpersonal interaction, first notice your experience without critiquing it. Ask yourself, “Is this fair to me?” If someone is asking you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, or if someone’s behavior ignores or dismisses your feelings and needs, this is NOT fair to you!

Then, take notice of what you’re experiencing and what messages this experience might bring you. If you decide that the situation isn’t fair to you, think about whether you REALLY need to apologize to anyone for what is happening. You may have the urge to apologize, or you may wish the situation were different, but overapologizing puts you in a position of compromising your self-respect and taking responsibility for a situation you don’t own. Remind yourself that it’s OKAY to say no! For example, if you really don’t want to go shopping or meet with a friend for lunch, you don’t need to apologize for wanting time to yourself.

Next, take notice of your values for yourself and in a relationship. With many of the adults in sessions, kids and teens in sessions, I work with them to complete a set of standards to write out in clear language all the ways that want, need and deserve to be treated in a relationship. I also have them write a clause for “dealbreakers” or ways in which another might act or treat them which would be cause for terminating the relationship. I would encourage you to think about your own set of standards, or even a family set of standards!

Finally, be truthful with yourself. Holding a Mindful awareness of our experiences helps us to take notice of our truth in a gentle, compassionate, and nonjudgmental way. If you have a friend who behaves in every way you outlined on your dealbreakers list, it’s time to GET REAL! Think about whether there are any problems you can solve with assertiveness skills and in relationships that cannot be repaired or are too toxic, work towards distancing yourself and setting limits.

Relationships can be tricky, especially when you feel lonely or want so desperately to be connected that you may end up keeping people around who aren’t nourishing and positive for you in your life. Weigh and consider how to focus your life’s energy on the people you love and who bring you joy by setting an intention to bring closer to you those who already meet your set of standards.

P.S. We go through these skills in more depth through a 8 session group in Mindfulness Matters!

Space is limited to ensure that everyone in the group feels heard and has a meaningful experience.

**only 5 spaces remain**

Register for a screening here: http://www.subscribepage.com/c6q6s5

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the New Year!

Please comment and share what you hope Mindfulness will bring you! Mindfulness, even in small increments, really does matter!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!