Even Just ONE Mindful Moment Matters

Many people have started to find their rhythm again after the hustle and bustle of the hectic season. Some are still looking to find their footing. Still, many others are looking to figure out the new normal for themselves amidst new goals. After so much activity and taming giant to-do lists, you might be finding it hard to focus on just doing ONE thing in this ONE moment. It might feel like it’s hard to see why just that ONE really matters unless it’s part of a bigger whole or has a grand agenda attached to it.

Here’s the thing – It’s natural to feel that way and, yet, it can hold us back from allowing in some of those very things that can help us get on the pathway towards exactly where we want to be so that we can cultivate the life experiences that are meaningful to us. In fact, one of my favorite things in the Mindfulness Matters group is a story about how just ONE simple act can have a tremendous impact on every single moment that follows.

Here’s the story:

Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. 

One day he was walking along the shore.  As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day.

So he began to walk faster to catch up.  As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn’t dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean. 

As he got closer he called out, “Good morning! What are you doing?”

The young man paused, looked up and replied, “Throwing starfish in the ocean.”

“I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?”
 
“The sun is up and the tide is going out.  And if I don’t throw them in they’ll die.”
 
“But, young man, don’t you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can’t possibly make a difference!”
 
The young man listened politely. 

Then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it
Into the ocean, past the breaking waves and said –  “It made a difference for that one.”

We can easily find ourselves getting caught in the whirlwind of life or even falling into a rut where it then becomes hard to just make ONE shift. It’s in those one small acts and moments where we can begin a new pattern for ourselves that allows us to make great gains. Each week in the Mindfulness Matters group, we take steps just like this to help bring in a powerful tool for turbocharging your life to quiet your inner critic, break out of your mental rut, and tune into your best self so that you can carve out the life that serves you best. I’m happy to talk to you about how this group can help you get where you want to be – you can easily get in touch!

In the meantime, what’s ONE thing you can do today to make sure you wrap up your day with greater clarity and a bigger smile than when you started it?

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch! Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the New Year!

Please feel free to comment and share your favorite Mindfulness tip with me! That way, we can spread the word together – because even just ONE act of Mindfulness matters!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

 

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Break Out of Your “Mental Rut” to Turbocharge Your Life!

Have you caught yourself just whirling through your day, finding yourself at the end of it and just wondering where the hours went? Or maybe you’ve looked up from what you were “busy” with to find yourself puzzled by how it just got done without you even noticing that you were doing it. Sometimes, we find ourselves relieved that we just managed to get yet another item on our to-do list done. Yet, we might often feel like we’re on a fast spinning carousel ride that we can’t get off of. We might find ourselves overwhelmed, frazzled, or even just like we “miss” being a part of our lives. This is where that autopilot mode can take us – a life filled with days that are devoid of our awareness and participation.

In a car, we can sometimes drive for miles “on automatic pilot,” without really being aware of what we are doing. In the same way, we may not be really “present” moment-by-moment, for much of our lives: We can often be “miles away” without know­ing it.

On automatic pilot, we are more likely to have our “buttons pressed.” Events around us and thoughts, feelings, and sensations in the mind (of which we may be only dimly aware) can trigger old habits of thinking that are often unhelpful and may lead to worsening moods. snapping at our loved ones or colleagues, and not really understanding what quite set us off.

By becoming more aware of our thoughts, feelings, and body sensations, from moment to moment, we give ourselves the possibility of greater freedom and choice; we do not have to go into the same old “mental ruts” that may have caused problems in the past.

This is where the gift of Mindfulness can bring tremendous benefits – not only to ourselves, but to those around us who are impacted by our experiences. The aim of Mindfulness is to increase awareness so that we can respond to situ­ations with choice rather than react automatically. In other words, we can break the grip of autopilot and its reactions. We do this by practicing to be­come more aware of where our attention is and deliberately changing the focus of attention, over and over again. We do this without berating ourselves so that we can keep moving forward rather than getting pulled back into the same tailspin.

As we prepare for the next round of the Mindfulness Matters group enrolling in just a few short weeks, I wanted to share a short exercise with you for react with more intention and deliberation in our lives so that we can escape the mental ruts and access greater freedom and choice in our day-to-day experiences.

This exercise is designed to easily bring mindfulness into your everyday life so that you don’t have to feel pulled away from the things you love and care about to take care of yourself.

Choose one task each day that you often do in automatic pilot. Things such as brushing your teeth, eating a meal, attending lectures, showering, preparing for bed, walking in the park are suitable. It is probably best to stick with one activity for a week or longer rather than changing the activity regularly.

When the time comes for that activity, do it in a fully mindful frame of mind. Pay attention to the activity itself, noticing with intentional awareness what is happening right now. For instance, with teeth brushing you might feel the touch of the brush on each tooth and the gum, note the noise it is making become aware of the taste of the toothpaste. Just like in the breath awareness, if you find yourself thinking of other things, then simply note it for a second or two and return to the sensations associated with brushing your teeth.

If the activity is likely to be longer than a few minutes – such as eating a full meal or walking in the park – then practice the first three minutes mindfully. Pay attention to what you see, the sounds you hear, the feeling of your clothes as you walk and what can you smell.

As a general aim, stick to the sensations present at the time: touch, sight, sound, taste, smell. You may also note what emotions and bodily feelings you have – like noticing your breathing becomes faster or tension in your muscles.

At the end of the exercise, continue the next activity mindfully for as long as that Mindful state lasts.

What did you discover about yourself as you went through this exercise?? What did it feel like to slow down and really participate in your life to get out of that mental rut?

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self into the New Year!

Please feel free to comment and share what it was like to get yourself back in charge and escape the never-ending mental rut!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Don’t forget to get access to more valuable content weekly here!

P.S. Groups are an amazing way for us to lean how to express ourselves and understand that we are not alone. The Mindfulness Matters Group will run on Tuesdays from 6:30pm to 7:30pm  beginning on February 26th and running through April 16th. Get in touch to talk about how this might help you get yourself back on top!

MORE Tips and Resources to Stay Mindful!

For many of us, the holiday season can be riddled with stressors, frustration, loneliness, or even disappointment. In the midst of that, we might even feel out of line because the holiday season is “supposed” to be filled with cheer and “should” have joy and merriment. This can lead us to feel even more frustrated, alone, and like we’re a bad person for our reactions.

Here’s the thing – even positive experiences and situations can bring with them some difficulty. We may not have influence on the long lines or the traffic jams – but we do have influence on the ways that those things impact us. Learning to navigate disruptions and the tough feelings that leave us feeling frazzled can be a really valuable skill for us so that we can really maximize the joy and connectedness we have throughout this holiday season.

I recently spent some time talking with Deborah Turner of Natural Awakenings and Rockland World Radio’s “Connections with Deborah Turner” to talk about some ways we can navigate our emotions this time of year. Whether you’re looking to celebrate a holiday or you’re feeling stressed juggling work and family life, this time of year can bring with it some challenges. Deborah and I talk through a number of ways to build your tools for more easily busting stress so that you can feel like your best self again.

Be sure to listen to the conversation HERE so that you can get some more tips on how to navigate difficult emotions, bust through the stress and frustration, use Mindfulness to sort through your never-ending to-do list, and even leverage more sleep this holiday season!

I really loved sharing these tips with everyone because I know the pressure that this time of year might bring for many of us can be intense and detract from our experiences. It’s important to me that sharing information about how simple tools like working on our sleep a bit differently or just noticing our breathing and using the cracks of time can bring with them  great gains. That way, we can start to feel more like ourselves and reconnect with the things and the people in our lives that bring us joy.

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self into the New Year!

Please comment below and share what stood out to you as your  favorite tip with me!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

 

Gratitude and Thankfulness

Here in the United States, we shared a holiday focused on gratitude. We spent time with loved ones, with foods we cherish, and, for many, we spent time giving thanks for the abundance of our lives.

Gratitude brings with it many more benefits than has historically been recognized. We have come to discover in more recent years that gratitude not only helps us to shift our present state so that we can more fully participate with and experience our joys, but that gratitude can also facilitate our greater overall long term experience of happiness.

A Mindful awareness of our experiences with gratitude allows us to reframe what we experience. In doing so, we allow ourselves to both experience exponentially greater gains as well as to more fully immerse ourselves in what we still seek in our lives.

Yet, many people still find themselves focused on the deficits and paucities in their lives when they give thanks. Gratitude, to some, feels hurtful and frustrating – it might necessarily bring on painful reminders of what is still lost or unattainable.

It is precisely in these areas of awareness that we can be even more grateful – these pangs of pain and distress give us many signals as to what we may still need and what we do have that we may have lost sight of. It is gratitude that can allow us to create even more in our lives. Shifting our focus from the awareness of these deficits to the awareness of what we have even embedded within them allows us to receive and to give even more fully.

The following poem elaborates on this principle:

“Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.”

Be Thankful – Author Unknown

Please share a comment and let me know what you spent the holiday giving thanks for!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

 

 

Getting It Done!

Maybe you have been feeling overwhelmed by all the things on your to-do list. You might even find yourself holding your breath and rushing off from one thing to the next without even noticing. This time of year, in particular, you might feel like you are being swept up by all that you have to get done.

I recently shared some information on how we have become wedded to our busy lifestyles and never-ending to-do lists. For many of us, success and status are measured by how busy we have gotten and yet, we often wish we could slow down.

One of the challenges has become wanting to accomplish it all and yet slowing down the pace. While this might seem like an impossible feat, there are ways of slowing down while enhancing our productivity and performance. This way, we are not bombarded by feelings of shame, guilt, fear, and overwhelm so that we can still accomplish what we value and spend time relishing components of our lives that allow us to recharge. We can find ways to be more present in our relationships and also nurture our own physical and emotional well being – and, in turn, the areas we invest our energy into become turbo charged as well.

Read on for some tips on helping yourself become more skilled at improving your productivity!

Please share your experience with me – leave a comment and let me know your thoughts on how you slowed down your go-go-go schedules while focusing on the life you want to celebrate!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

 

Help for Depressed Teens and Their Families

I recently joined Inside Edition in discussing the devastating impact of a deeply disturbing trend amongst teens. While the horrors of teens struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts has increased, it is important to keep in mind that help and resources are available.

The trajectory of teen suicide has noted an increase in recent years. Among 100,000 youth, 1.3 in the 10-14 year old age group and 8.2 in the 15-19 year old age group die of suicide annually, as noted by the National Institute of Mental Health. In fact, suicide is the third leading cause of death amongst youth aged 15-24 and the sixth among younger youth according to The National Mental Health Association. Each year, suicide takes the lives of 12.9% of youth, noted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Furthermore, every day, there are 12 youth suicides, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

While these statics paint a difficult and troubling picture, awareness and preparedness can help to support teens who are struggling as well as their families. I describe some ways we can offer resources and help in my conversation with Inside Edition’s Maya Chung. Watch HERE to learn more about ways you can support your teen.

Comment below and let me know your thoughts on how we can better support our teens. Feel free to share your thoughts in our social media community so that we can create a greater sense of awareness and support!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

Welcoming Tamera

I am very excited today to introduce a new member into the Chrysalis Psychological Services team! Tamera has been helping me behind the scenes in her role of office manager and I am delighted to share that she will now be more directly interfacing with you.

Tamera’s role is instrumental in ensuring that your needs are addressed so that we can continue to work on the things that will be helpful. She will be providing a great degree of assistance in administrative and billing related matters as well as ensuring that your contacts are addressed quickly and accurately. As you can see, her work will play a key role in providing you with the services that can help you build the life that you want to celebrate!

I have been very delighted to collaborate with Tamera recently and look forward to building on that moving forward. She brings with her a notable amount of experience, professionalism, and bright personality that I know will be as helpful for you as it has been for me.

With Tamera on board, I know that the Chrysalis Psychological Services team will provide you with even greater support and resources than ever before!

Please join me in welcoming Tamera aboard – feel free to leave a comment or join us in our social media communities and say hello!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!