Take Hold of Your Overwhelming Emotions!

Sometimes, we have intense emotions that are difficult to manage, such as anger, shame, depression, or anxiety. Difficulties controlling these emotions often lead to problematic behaviors that affect us and those around us. Problematic behaviors are often ineffective solutions to intensely painful emotions. We then find ourselves in a never-ending cycle of feeling overwhelmed by intense emotions and wanting to shut our feelings out completely.

Instead of this turbulent, emotional merry-go-round, we CAN learn to tame our emotions and take hold of them so that we can keep showing up fully in our lives and connect with the people and experiences that matter to us.

“Emotions” isn’t a dirty word – in fact, emotions offer us a lot of valuable information. Emotions provide us with a signal that something is happening so we can check out the facts. It’s a problem when we treat emotions as if THEY are the facts about the world. For example: “If I am afraid, there must be a threat,” or “I love him, so he must be good for me.” We need to be mindful that emotions are not facts. Therefore, it is important to check the facts about the situation – and our Mindful awareness of our emotions give us the signal to go ahead and check on the facts.

They also motivate and prepare us for action. The action urge connected to specific emotions is often “hardwired.” For example, when we hear a loud horn beep suddenly, we startle. Emotions save time in getting us to act in important situations. Our nervous system activates us (e.g., we instantly jump out of the way of an oncoming car). We don’t have to think everything through. Strong emotions can help us overcome obstacles— in our mind and in the environment.

Yet, sometimes, we take action without working through the facts and it doesn’t always turn out in our favor.

One of the favored topics in the Mindfulness Matters group focuses on learning to understand the emotions we experience so that we can identify, observe, and describe our emotions in order to know what they do for us. That way, we can uncover whether they are working for us or hindering us from getting what we want in this moment.

We go on to discover ways to reduce our emotional vulnerability to and stopping unwanted emotions in the beginning stages so we can let go of painful emotions when they start and increase positive emotions! This way, we can reduce our emotional suffering.

P.S. We go through these skills in more depth through a 8 session group in Mindfulness Matters!

Space is limited to ensure that everyone in the group feels heard and has a meaningful experience.

Register for a screening here: http://www.subscribepage.com/mindfulnessmattersgroup

I will be CLOSING the cart on registrations in just 10 days on February 16th so be sure to claim your seat!

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Comment below and tell me how you took hold of your overwhelming emotions!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

STOP Reacting and Start Responding Powerfully

Mindfulness is a way of restraining yourself to relate directly to whatever is happening in your life. It is a way of reasserting control of your mental and emotional life, by helping you reconnect to the present moment, rather than the pain of the past or anxiety about the future. Mindfulness is a way of paying attention to, and seeing clearly whatever is happening in our lives.  It is not necessarily a method of getting rid of life’s pressures, but it can help us respond to them in a calmer manner that benefits our heart, head, and body.

Mindfulness techniques focus on awareness of thoughts and feelings without attachment or judgment. When we are having intense emotions, it is often because we are caught up in our catastrophic interpretations about what is going on. The more we become entangled in the thoughts about the situation, the worse it feels, and the more intense our emotions become. Mindfulness short-circuits this process by helping us to disentangle ourselves from our distorted thought patterns and connect to the actual situation. This enables us to more skillfully address the difficult situation, and to do so with less emotional reactivity and psychological suffering.

You’ll probably find engaging in a formal daily Mindfulness practice has real benefits in reducing the stress and anxiety you feel throughout the day. There is significant research showing this is usually the case. However, there are more effective ways you can engage in mindfulness to positively shape your day to an even greater degree than formal sitting practice. One skill I often teach members of my Mindfulness Matters group is the mindfulness practice of STOP.

STOP is primarily used to introduce mindful experience throughout your day, when you need it most. Even after a good mindfulness meditation in the morning, it’s easy to quickly get caught up in all of the stresses and activities of daily life. By applying mindfulness to these experience during your day, your mind will be on autopilot less, and you will be able to check in with how you are feeling, what you are thinking, and what behavior you’re engaging in.

STOP is an acronym that stands for:

S: Stop. Whatever you’re doing, just pause momentarily.
T: Take a breath. Re-connect with your breath. The breath is an anchor to the present moment.
O: Observe. Notice what is happening. What is happening inside you, and outside of you? Where has your mind gone? What do you feel? What are you doing?
P: Proceed. Continue doing what you were doing. Or don’t: Use the information gained during this check-in to change course. Whatever you do, do it mindfully.

By occasionally reminding yourself to stop during your day, you can increase your awareness of what is going on around you and inside you. You may stop and notice you are engaging in a lot of negative self-judgments. Using STOP may help you recognize when your body is becoming tense, and allow you to correct it before you are in pain. You might find that you’re hungry, or that a break might be helpful. The more you STOP during the day, the more you re-engage with reality, and disengage from the habitual busyness of your mind.

Don’t forget: I share this skill in more depth through the 8 session Mindfulness Matters group!

Space is limited to ensure that everyone in the group feels heard and has a meaningful experience.

Register for a screening here:

http://www.subscribepage.com/mindfulnessmattersgroup

Keep in mind that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the life you want to celebrate!

Comment and tell me how you STOPped reacting and started responding powerfully in your life again!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

Discover How To Own Your Worth In Relationships

We love the people who matter to us in our lives. But they have flaws and sometimes those same people we love disappoint us. They treat us unfairly or misunderstand our needs, leaving us feeling hurt, angry or let down. Mindfulness skills can be used to help us preserve self-respect in our own relationships and to guide us toward more healthy relationships too.

When your discomfort alarm rings and you find yourself feeling upset about an interpersonal interaction, first notice your experience without critiquing it. Ask yourself, “Is this fair to me?” If someone is asking you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, or if someone’s behavior ignores or dismisses your feelings and needs, this is NOT fair to you!

Then, take notice of what you’re experiencing and what messages this experience might bring you. If you decide that the situation isn’t fair to you, think about whether you REALLY need to apologize to anyone for what is happening. You may have the urge to apologize, or you may wish the situation were different, but overapologizing puts you in a position of compromising your self-respect and taking responsibility for a situation you don’t own. Remind yourself that it’s OKAY to say no! For example, if you really don’t want to go shopping or meet with a friend for lunch, you don’t need to apologize for wanting time to yourself.

Next, take notice of your values for yourself and in a relationship. With many of the adults in sessions, kids and teens in sessions, I work with them to complete a set of standards to write out in clear language all the ways that want, need and deserve to be treated in a relationship. I also have them write a clause for “dealbreakers” or ways in which another might act or treat them which would be cause for terminating the relationship. I would encourage you to think about your own set of standards, or even a family set of standards!

Finally, be truthful with yourself. Holding a Mindful awareness of our experiences helps us to take notice of our truth in a gentle, compassionate, and nonjudgmental way. If you have a friend who behaves in every way you outlined on your dealbreakers list, it’s time to GET REAL! Think about whether there are any problems you can solve with assertiveness skills and in relationships that cannot be repaired or are too toxic, work towards distancing yourself and setting limits.

Relationships can be tricky, especially when you feel lonely or want so desperately to be connected that you may end up keeping people around who aren’t nourishing and positive for you in your life. Weigh and consider how to focus your life’s energy on the people you love and who bring you joy by setting an intention to bring closer to you those who already meet your set of standards.

P.S. We go through these skills in more depth through a 8 session group in Mindfulness Matters!

Space is limited to ensure that everyone in the group feels heard and has a meaningful experience.

**only 5 spaces remain**

Register for a screening here: http://www.subscribepage.com/c6q6s5

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the New Year!

Please comment and share what you hope Mindfulness will bring you! Mindfulness, even in small increments, really does matter!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

Mindfulness – Why Bother?

Have you felt as though your mind is controlling you rather than you controlling your mind? Perhaps you’ve felt like you have no control over your attention. Maybe you have even noticed that, while you are trying to focus on doing one thing, other things seem to intrude into your mind. For example, you might find yourself texting someone while you’re talking to someone else and have no idea what’s said in either conversation. Or maybe as you’re listening to a loved one tell a story your mind might be driving to what you’re planning to do later in the day or how distracted you are by the heat in the room. You might even find yourself blurting things out at work or yell at someone and not realize that you were going to do that beforehand – as if it just happened automatically without your realizing it. And perhaps you find yourself simply just saying and doing other things and not aware of what you’re doing.

When these things happen, it can feel as if we are living our lives with our eyes closed.

Being Mindful is living with our eyes wide open through our experiences. It is being aware of things that you are experiencing with each of our senses in the present moment rather than getting pulled into the future or the past. It is taking hold of our mind and controlling it rather than it being in control of us.

The full awareness practiced in Mindfulness allows us to be aware of our present moment – including the thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations – without judgment and without trying to change those experiences. This brings with it a focused, open mind, and greater attentional control. Consider what happens when our mind is jumping from one thought, observation, or reaction to another over and over again. It can be difficult to connect with the people and things we value in our lives.

Being Mindful can…

+Give us more choices and more control over the things we do in our lives.

+Reduce our suffering and increase our sense of joy, happiness, freedom, and pleasure.

+Help us make important decisions.

+Help us focus our attention so that we can be more effective and productive.

+Increase our compassion – for both ourselves and for others.

+Lessen our pain, tension, and stress.

One thing that can really help us gain these benefits in full so that we can go on to live a fulfilled life that we want to celebrate is to make sure that we can develop our Mindfulness skills and habits. If someone is training to run a marathon, learn to play a new piece or music, or learn a new sport, it takes practice to feel capable. The same is true for Mindfulness skills. Just like any other skill in life, we need to practice our skills to become more proficient in them. This is why the Mindfulness Matters group practices start with small exercises and build up your muscles and stamina over time. We also get the benefit of going through the practices with others who are in the same boat so that we can support and encourage each other as we grow and learn together!

Enrollment has officially opened and I very excited to talk more with you about how this group can help you get your goals supercharged so that you can be on your way to the life that you want to celebrate!

Space is limited to ensure that everyone in the group feels heard and has a meaningful experience.
**only 5 spaces remain**

Register for a screening here: http://www.subscribepage.com/c6q6s5

Or contact me for more information.

Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the New Year!

Please comment and share what you hope Mindfulness will bring you! Mindfulness, even in small increments, really does matter!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

Mindfulness Matters Group – Now Enrolling!

If you have ever said…
I can’t focus or think straight
I can’t seem to figure out what I want
Everyone judges me
I’m not good enough

HELP GET CLARITY AND SHOW UP POWERFULLY IN YOUR LIFE!
This 8-week group will provide you with support + give you the skills to…

+ Notice the here and now experiences even when you are overwhelmed and unsettled so that you can participate in the parts of your life that are meaningful
+ Engage in activities even when you’re feeling scared or insecure so that you can lead a fulfilling life and feel happy
+ Stop comparing yourself to others and learn to feel fully comfortable in your own skin
+ Quiet your self-critical voice and learn to love yourself for exactly who you are

Space is limited to ensure that everyone in the group feels heard and has a meaningful experience.
**only 5 spaces remain**

Register for a screening here: http://www.subscribepage.com/c6q6s5

Or email drnazari@drsallynazari.com for more information.

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

“Beyond the Couch” Season 2 Kickoff!

I’m really excited today to kick off “Beyond the Couch” podcast‘s second Season! We had such great episodes last season where we highlighted some of the ways that you can get back on track after difficult, painful, and even scary experiences so that you could recreate joy, freedom, and happiness to build a life that you want to celebrate.

I wanted to ensure that, as we continue with Season 2, we keep highlighting tips, tricks, practical resources, and insights from topic experts so that you can put the pieces together to create that life that you want to celebrate.

One of last season’s highlights include our Mindful Monday series – which I’m really looking forward to continuing and expanding upon in our second season! This season we will also introduce gratitude as a key factor in Mindfulness.

As we focus on celebrating you in your amazing life, I wanted to highlight a few triumphs. Many of you contacted me to share the ways that you were feeling stuck and paralyzed in your life. Some of you even felt like it was out of line for you to be feeling that way because you had something positive come into your life and yet it was hard to move past the anxiety or it was still hard to feel joy, excitement, or happiness enough to keep moving forward.  And many of you were feeling like nothing was really wrong but that nothing was really right or feeling good either. What stood out to me in your correspondences was that the combination of insights and information along with practical tips and tricks as well as the Mindfulness based practices really helped you find the clarity you needed to first figure out what it was you wanted in your life then to draw upon the resources and practical tools to get those things in place. In fact, several of you shared your favorite Mindfulness activity, which I’m very excited to share:

Maryanne, USA: “Mindfulness has helped me really experience my meals and change my relationship with food. Mindful eating was the missing ingredient in my weight loss efforts over the last 12 years! It has really made a difference in my self esteem and relationship with my body and with food overall.” 

Michael, Australia: “I love the practical ways that movement meditations help me focus on what my body is doing throughout the day. Mindfulness with the body scans and walking meditations have gotten me in more touch with what I’m doing and I value the way I can use the Mindful movement practice to connect with my body after a long, busy day.” 

Diane, Canada: “I have come to understand my breath. When I am just going about my day, there are so many opportunities for me to just pause and see what’s happening with my breath. Once I do, I can notice that I am participating differently in my activities. Just the awareness of breathing without changing it is my favorite – I can do it as many times a day as I want and anywhere!”  

I mentioned a few minutes ago that “Beyond the Couch” podcast will be adding a gratitude component into our Mindful Monday series this season.I wanted to take a moment and share my own gratitude for this incredible community of listeners as well as the community where I practice. Your trust in me has meant a great deal and I have tremendously valued sharing “Beyond the Couch” with you! As I was awarded the “Best Mental Health Service” award in my community last year, I was filled with gratitude at the opportunity to support so many of you in your lives and committed to sharing even more of the best of what lies beyond the couch to fill your life with celebration. This season, I dedicate the celebration to you in your amazing life!

“Beyond the Couch” has also been selected as one of the FIRST podcasts to be featured on Spotify! If you have not yet done so, please feel free to listen and, if you think others may benefit from the same, please feel free to share.

You can listen to the episode, subscribe, share, rate, and review it here! And as always: If you missed any of the episodes, they are always available via iTunes, on my website, and YouTube. Don’t forget to check out the new Spotify podcast platform for our episodes as well!

You can also click RIGHT HERE to listen now!

If you’ve found the “Beyond the Couch” episodes helpful in some way, please be sure to leave a rating and review so that 1.) I know what helps you and 2.) so that others in the same boat can find what they need.

Thank you so much for helping to spread the word through your downloads, subscriptions, ratings, and reviews. It has been incredibly exciting for me to share this with you and I am humbled to continue bringing you valuable information, tips, resources, and experts!

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!

Even Just ONE Mindful Moment Matters

Many people have started to find their rhythm again after the hustle and bustle of the hectic season. Some are still looking to find their footing. Still, many others are looking to figure out the new normal for themselves amidst new goals. After so much activity and taming giant to-do lists, you might be finding it hard to focus on just doing ONE thing in this ONE moment. It might feel like it’s hard to see why just that ONE really matters unless it’s part of a bigger whole or has a grand agenda attached to it.

Here’s the thing – It’s natural to feel that way and, yet, it can hold us back from allowing in some of those very things that can help us get on the pathway towards exactly where we want to be so that we can cultivate the life experiences that are meaningful to us. In fact, one of my favorite things in the Mindfulness Matters group is a story about how just ONE simple act can have a tremendous impact on every single moment that follows.

Here’s the story:

Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. 

One day he was walking along the shore.  As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day.

So he began to walk faster to catch up.  As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn’t dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean. 

As he got closer he called out, “Good morning! What are you doing?”

The young man paused, looked up and replied, “Throwing starfish in the ocean.”

“I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?”
 
“The sun is up and the tide is going out.  And if I don’t throw them in they’ll die.”
 
“But, young man, don’t you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can’t possibly make a difference!”
 
The young man listened politely. 

Then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it
Into the ocean, past the breaking waves and said –  “It made a difference for that one.”

We can easily find ourselves getting caught in the whirlwind of life or even falling into a rut where it then becomes hard to just make ONE shift. It’s in those one small acts and moments where we can begin a new pattern for ourselves that allows us to make great gains. Each week in the Mindfulness Matters group, we take steps just like this to help bring in a powerful tool for turbocharging your life to quiet your inner critic, break out of your mental rut, and tune into your best self so that you can carve out the life that serves you best. I’m happy to talk to you about how this group can help you get where you want to be – you can easily get in touch!

In the meantime, what’s ONE thing you can do today to make sure you wrap up your day with greater clarity and a bigger smile than when you started it?

Curious what I can offer you to help build the life you love? Get in touch! Don’t forget that I post tips, tricks, information, and even more resources on my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube pages – along with a Mindful Monday mini-series on the “Beyond the Couch” podcast so that you have an overflowing supply of tools to get you feeling like your best self in the New Year!

Please feel free to comment and share your favorite Mindfulness tip with me! That way, we can spread the word together – because even just ONE act of Mindfulness matters!

Get access to more valuable content weekly here!